Who doesn't love the annual trademarked hoops tourney?

By Reggie Hayes

The News-Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Ind.)

(MCT)

NCAA trademarks prevent newspapers and other media outlets from using common phrases associated with the upcoming basketball event involving college-aged men. Here are some alternatives, at no charge:

March Madness: "Pre-April Schizophrenia."

Elite Eight: "Exclusive Pairs of Teams in Four Predetermined Regions."

Final Four: "The Absolutely Last Three, Plus One."

The Road to Detroit: "Looking to Score off I-94."

WOULD YOU TAKE AN IOU?

Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler has requested the team trade him. The Detroit Lions have interest, but aren't sure they can meet the Broncos' steep demands for actual pro football players in return.

MANNY'S HAMMY

Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez aggravated his sore left hamstring on Sunday, leaving his status doubtful for the start of the regular season. The good news is his wrist remains healthy enough to keep endorsing paychecks.

INFLAMED THROWER

Detroit Tigers manager Jim Leyland doesn't expect injury-prone pitcher Joel Zumaya to be ready for Opening Day because of inflammation in his shoulder. "I say that because he hasn't really pitched in two years," Leyland said.

To be fair to Zumaya, all the Tigers took last year off.

JONES' CAREER IN A SAND TRAP

Wide receiver Matt Jones was waived by the Jacksonville Jaguars on Monday for violating his plea agreement over a 2008 drug charge. He told a judge he failed a drug and alcohol screening because he had been drinking beer while golfing. He promised it wouldn't happen again. That's easy to say, but golf can be very addictive.

TURN LEFT, YOUNG MAN

Television ratings for the first four NASCAR races of the season are down 11 percent from last season. Too few lead changes and too many cautions are among the possible causes. NASCAR officials are contemplating potentially popular changes, such as allowing drivers to wreck one Busch per week without penalty.

A LITTLE LIQUID, A LITTLE LESS TIGER

Did you see where golfer Phil Mickelson was treated for heat exhaustion and mild dehydration at the CA Championship in Doral, Fla.? He toughed it out, won the event and looked up to see Tiger Woods a full eight strokes back. Turns out Mickelson can stand the heat after all.

WHAT'S THE STORY?

Detroit Pistons guard Allen Iverson hasn't been around the team lately while he recovers from a sore back. Coach Michael Curry said Iverson's absence is because "he doesn't want to be the story." Or at least that's what it said in the Detroit Free Press story all about Iverson.

JOHNNY B. BAD

Florida State will appeal an NCAA sanction that would take away wins in 10 sports. The penalty was assessed because 61 athletes who took a music history course where test answers were provided. Way to go, NCAA. It's about time athletes took challenging college courses like music history seriously.

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© 2009, The News-Sentinel (Fort Wayne, Ind.).

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